I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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