Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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