You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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