and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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