She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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