He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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