erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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