u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
