a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
