Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
its not stalking. its research.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
