none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
