she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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