We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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