a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
