I just saw a hot homeless man
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
being pregnant is like rehab
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
