he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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