Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
