apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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