Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize