I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
