the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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