4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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