Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
