This girl is more easily done than said...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
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