And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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