just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
