I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
