i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
