She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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