some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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