He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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