oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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