he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
