i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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