So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize