Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
