He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
