we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
