you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
