Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
