yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
