It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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