help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
