i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize