Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
