Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
