and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
