sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
