your thong is hanging out like whoa
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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