My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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