so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
