dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
