The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
