Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
