420 ftw
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
