worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
