i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
