Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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