Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
