Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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