Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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