A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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