Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
