He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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