i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
