Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
