Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
